It is easy to become cynical, isn't it?

thoughts on kids (unknown author)

‑A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.
‑Anyone who says 'Easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried it.
‑Children are natural mimics, who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.
‑Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
‑Children will soon forget your presents, they will always remember your presence. ‑ Dobson
‑Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like clearing the drive before it has stopped snowing.
‑Ever notice that a human baby doesn't walk until it's tall enough to reach a parent's hand?
‑Give your children these two things. One is roots, the other, wings.
‑Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.
‑If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet I'll put shoes on my cat.
‑Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
‑Kids need love the most when they're acting most unlovable.
‑Mother's of teens know why animals eat their young.
‑The best inheritance parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.
‑This is what my 5 year old son said to his father when he was told he could have his own computer, 'Can I get on the interstate with it?'
‑We child‑proofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in!
‑We didn't know what true joy and happiness was until we had kids ‑ then it was to late.
‑We don't inherit the Earth from our parents, we borrow it from our children.
‑When mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
‑You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can never fool mom.
‑They say kids brighten the home. That's because they never turn the #@$& lights off.

Language

Reasons Why The English Language Is Hard To Learn: (And is so great a language)
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Reading comes of a powerful mind

Cna yuo raed tihs?

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor o f the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!